I have so much in my head yet I don't know what to say. My relationship has been weighing heavy on my mind for the last few weeks. Lately it doesn't feel like I have anyone at all. The more time that passes, he greater the distance between us. I'm not angry about it, strangely enough. The space between only made the disconnect clearly seen. I feel guilty for asking for more than Matt is able to give. I don't think he's able to handle all of us and the last thing he wants to do is talk about it. Its not easy to be in a relationship with someone with D.I.D. That is a lot of personality in one package, ya know? At times I wish I wasn't split like I am. It doesn't seem fair for the people around me to try to handle my mood swings and personality shifts. Also, it doesn't seem fair to try to suppress what I don't have much control over. More to the point, its dangerous. Suppression only reinforces the division of my mind and not all of my alters make healthy choices.
Fuck... I'm being consumed by sleep! I'll try to write more after a nap.