Sometimes I read a story and can't help but be angry at its fairy tale ending. Sometimes I wonder if there's an inherent evil in my genetic make up that made James and Judith unable to love me. At the end, all Benson wanted was to get the fuck away from me. I know the only reason he's not here is because he doesn't want to be. Why is it the men I've called dad seem to find it so easy to toss me away?

Honestly Jennifer, you're a little old for 'daddy doesn't love me.'

James & Judith never loved me... didn't really want me once I was born and it was discovered that I was a girl. I was used to keep Judith in a home, to keep a husband paying the bills. To James I was nothing but a sex toy. A girl can't carry on a family name and is only useful as a servant. My foundations tell me that I am only ever as good as what I can offer.

In the dark I cry and I scream and beg but there's no one to hear me. Its just as well. There isn't much to say. Seven voices seeking approval, forgiveness, love. Needing it on a scale no human can supply. Seven people walking around lost, looking outside for what they can't find inside.

Dawn will come and in the daylight this will all seem far away, almost a different lifetime... but the dark always returns and in the quiet I'll find myself here again, crying in anger over happy endings while searching for what no one can give.